How to Become Irresistibly Charismatic ⋆ Motivated Progress

Sheryl Barnes
8 min readApr 6, 2020


Charismatic people are popular, confident, and attractive. Almost no one can resist them! Whether that be buying what they’re selling or accepting their offers. These people are success magnets.

For instance, have you ever met someone who lights up the room the moment they arrive? This person has discovered an essential secret to success: charisma.

Charisma is a compelling charm that inspires devotion in others. So, you can see why this is such a valuable trait!

The key to charisma is to make others feel good about themselves. Plus, it’ll make you more persuasive and likable. If you could use more of this in your life, don’t worry, anyone can become charismatic!

Here are some simple methods to be a more charismatic person:

1. Have an open mind

“Charisma is the intangible that makes people want to follow you, to be around you, to be influenced by you.”

— Roger Dawson

You’ll be much more enjoyable to be around if you’re open-minded and nonjudgmental. Don’t be so set in your ways that you refuse to listen to anyone. But, when you pay attention to people’s thoughts and life experiences, they’ll feel bonded to you.

You don’t have to agree with everyone but at least listen to them. Also, don’t try to push your opinions on others. More than likely, it won’t work. So, just default to agreeing to disagree, rather than exploding in anger.

2. Have confidence

“Charisma is the perfect blend of warmth and confidence.”

— Vanessa Van Edwards

Another appealing trait to have is confidence; this is believing that you can handle the challenges needed to succeed. You know you can do what you need to do to reach your goals. You’re not worried; instead, your mind is serene, enthusiastic, and unburdened.

Here are some tips to gain confidence:

  • Speak in a relaxed voice, instead of loud and aggressive.
  • Don’t speak in a high-pitched tone because that may annoy some people.
  • Have a clean appearance, smell good, and spend a little time exercising.
  • Be full of life when you talk, and you’ll embody charisma.

Although, don’t overdo it on any of these tips. Moderation in everything.

You’ll have fearless confidence once you stop worrying about what others think. Don’t be mean to them, but don’t obsess about their opinions either. You can’t force people to accept you, besides if they don’t, that’s their problem, not yours!

Also, charismatic people don’t need to be in the spotlight. In fact, they’re okay with stepping to the side and letting others take over sometimes. You’re an incredible person, but you don’t need to yell it from the rooftops. Let people realize it on their own. Relax, and they’ll come to you.

3. Use charismatic body language

“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your body language speaks much louder than your words. In fact, what you say stands for only 7% of what you’re communicating. How you say it (or your tone of voice) is 38%, and your body language speaks loudest of all with 55%. Also, people remember more about how you made them feel rather than what you said. So, keep this in mind with your next conversation.

Here are some tips on having charisma with body language:

  • Mirror how the other person is sitting, this helps them feel like you’re similar to them, thus making them like and trust you more.
  • Sit, stand, and walk with self-assurance and confidence.
  • Smile. When you smile, you’ll be more approachable and likable.
  • Face your body towards the person you’re talking to and pay attention to what they say.
  • Don’t cross your arms or fidget.
  • Keep eye contact long enough to see the color of the person’s eyes.

However, don’t overdo it with these tips, or you might seem creepy or weird.

4. Be present and listen

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”

— Bryant H. McGill

Giving people you’re total attention makes them feel valued. Besides, you must give respect to get it, and being present is respectful. Therefore, put your phone on silent and put it away. Make it a point to focus solely on that person. Then, they’ll see that you’re taking them seriously, and they’ll be mesmerized with your charm.

Here are some more tips:

“Charisma is not just saying hello. It’s dropping what you’re doing to say hello.”

Robert Breault

  • Let them finish speaking and don’t bulldoze over the conversation.
  • Don’t talk only about yourself. Instead, encourage them to keep talking by asking them questions.
  • Listen to them as if they are the most interesting person in the world.
  • Don’t think about your response while they’re talking.

Have a genuine interest in each person you meet. Besides, people are fascinating! Each one has a unique mind filled with a different universe of ideas and experiences. When you listen to what people say, you instantly become more charismatic.

5. Ask them about what they love

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

— Dalai Lama

When people talk about their passions, they feel uplifted and energized. Ask them questions and get interested in what they say. Who knows, you might find something you’re passionate about by listening to them?

6. Don’t be arrogant

“How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you.”

— Dan Reiland

Don’t act arrogant because that gives off bad vibes that no one likes. If you’re truly confident, you don’t need to put others down or be the loudest person in the room.

Those who don’t take themselves too seriously, attract people to them. So, never pretend to be perfect because that’s ridiculous. Besides, if you think you’re high and mighty above others, then they’ll seek out ways to prove you wrong! Instead, be the first to point out when you mess up.

You can even laugh at yourself, and people love that! Plus, they can’t bring it up to drag you down because you already pointed it out.

7. Use humor to your advantage

Charisma is a sparkle in people that money can’t buy. It’s an invisible energy with visible effects.”

Marianne Williamson

Humor is one of the most potent charismatic techniques. If you can make someone laugh, you’ve got them. People feel great when they’re laughing. I’ve used this to get hired before, and it works like a charm!

Although it’s essential to know how each person perceives humor because this can vary big time. Some people like teasing each other, but others take that too seriously. Analyze your audience beforehand.

Laugh at their jokes too! You want them to feel good, so don’t sit there in silence if they make a terrible joke. Instead, encourage them with at least a small chuckle.

8. Be more positive

“People who love life have charisma because they fill the room with positive energy.”

— John C. Maxwell

Everyone loves being around positive people because it makes them feel great too! Remind people that it’s a beautiful day. When someone asks how you’re doing, tell them it’s going amazing!

Greet people with a big smile. Smiling makes people feel comfortable (as long as you don’t overdo it). Say their name and ask them about something positive they’ve told you before. For example, “Hey, Bob! How’s the new puppy?”. This shows that you care enough to remember their name and what they’ve told you. Also, they’ll associate you with a great event in their life.

9. Don’t gossip

Gossiping is a surefire way to push people away from you. Besides, you don’t need to talk trash to feel good. That’s not cool. Instead, use the scientifically proven method of spontaneous trait transference. Don’t worry; this is just a fancy term. It means when you describe someone else, people assume that you have those same traits.

Therefore, if you complement others, then people will believe you have those characteristics. Try it out!

10. Be honest

“Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.”

— Warren Buffett

People love authentic people who tell the truth regardless of whether it’s good or bad. You’ll impress people when you step up and admit that you made a mistake.

Don’t make excuses (or reasons); it looks terrible when you don’t take accountability for your actions. You’re not supposed to be perfect, it’s impossible, so don’t pretend you never make mistakes. Also, you’ll look insecure if you try to cover it up with excuses or, worse yet, lies.

11. Don’t be so easily offended

Charismatic people don’t flip out every time someone is rude. They know it’s a waste of time. A fragile ego causes a victim mentality, and that makes people easily offended. What someone thinks of you doesn’t matter anyway, chances are they’re jealous, bitter or have problems at home.

It’s your choice whether you get offended or not. Do you want to be resentful and angry all day?

12. Apologize when needed

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”

— Peter T. Mcintyre

Don’t be the one who can’t say they’re sorry. This is off-putting to everyone because you’re acting like you do nothing wrong.

Gain the strength and courage to admit that you messed up and apologize. Besides, this is the only way to put the situation to rest and for everyone to move on. So, don’t wait, do it as fast as possible.

Ultimately, charisma is all about making other people feel valued and important.

That’ll make you more likable. So, focus on others, and everyone will want you as a partner, employee, or even a best friend.

It’ll also help if you get more life-changing info every week. So, subscribe! How will you be more charismatic?

How to Become Irresistibly Charismatic

Originally published at on April 6, 2020.



Sheryl Barnes

I’m a writer for In 2018–19, I spent 9 months in the desert with my husband and no running water. I write about overcoming obstacles.